Grief
by RedMagic
Summary: Baley One Shot. Nothing matters anymore, She's gone. Haley POV AU


**TITLE: _Grief  
_PAIRING: _Brooke/Haley  
_SUMMARY: _Haley POV.  
_SPOILERS: _None really its an AU but mentions Episode 3-16/17  
_CONTENT/WARNINGS: _Language, Violence, Femslash  
_RATING:_ PG-13  
_DISCLAIMER: _All belongs to the creators of One Tree Hill. I claim nothing._**

**_Just a One Shot._**

* * *

There has to be at least a hundred people gathered here but that really comes as no surprise to me. My love was well known, people liked her they respected her, even if most of them never really knew the real her. 

Some saw her as Brooke Davis, popular head Cheerleader; others saw her as Student Council president. Some didn't see her as anything other then a bitchy rich girl with more money then sense.

But to those of us who really knew her, she was all those things and so much more. She was a friend, a sister, a lover.

She was the girl who gave people silly nicknames just for the hell of it and was so full of life that she made everyone else around her feel uplifted. The girl behind the red door. She was the girl with shiny brown hair and shinier eyes who always had a smile ready even when sometimes there wasn't much to smile about.

Brooke Davis was the girl who took a shy, sweet eight year old Haley James and decided to be her best friend brightening up her life forever.

She's the girl that everyday since then has shown me so much love that sometimes I believed I could fly.

And now she's dead.

Taken away from the world by Jimmy Edwards and his hate and his gun.

Another statistic the government can spout off about violence in our schools.

We were 15 when we realized that not only did we love each other but we were in love with each other as well,

We were dating other people at the time, Brooke was with Lucas Scott and I funnily enough was dating his brother Nathan. We loved them both but nothing compared to the love we had. Not the all consuming, I laugh when she laughs, cry when she cries love we felt for each other.

When we confessed our feelings to each other and decided to be together things got difficult for a while, our friends didn't know how to act around us. Nathan and Lucas wouldn't speak to us they were so angry, Brookes parents kicked her out and cut her completely out of their lives and the rest of the school were so afraid of our quote un quote lifestyle choice that we were constantly being harassed.

The only support we had came from my parents and Peyton Sawyer, our other best friend.

But things eventually got better, not with Brookes parents but with nearly everyone else. Our friends got used to it and realized we weren't doing anything wrong. Lucas and Nathan came around and decided that it was better to be in our lives as friends then not at all. Lucas even fell in love again, rather quickly and Peyton seemed to do him a world of good. Even the rest of the students at Tree Hill High School found something new to gossip about and take up their time, the fact that two girls were in love became old news.

Brooke and I moved out of my parents house (where she had been living since her parents kicked her out) and into an apartment of her own. It was kind of a 16th Birthday present to me from my parents.

They left Tree Hill soon after in a RV to go traveling around the country making surprise visits to all my brothers and sisters that are scattered here and there.

Life was good.

We were both young and in love.

Then this happens.

It hardly seems possible that one minute we're living our lives, loving each other the best we can, everything going for us, our dreams coming true and then the next it's all just taken away in the blink of an eye.

I keep hoping I'll wake up and I'll be back in our apartment, Brooke lying next to me and this, this will all be just a bad dream.

I can't believe I'm actually standing in a cemetery, with a tonne of people around me burying the love of my life.

**X-X-X-X-X-X**

It's only been a week just seven days since I buried the love of my life.

I can't believe people seem to have forgotten so quickly.

I can't believe they thought throwing a party would help me.

Nothing can help me short of Brooke being alive and here with me.

They think watching people make out in the very spot she took her last breath is **helping **me!

Rage unlike I have ever felt is bubbling up inside of me and I feel like I'm going to explode.

And I do, explode that is. I explode right as Peyton comes up beside me with a smile on her face.

Of course she's smiling. Lucas is alive and well, not buried in the cold dark ground rotting away.

"What are you thinking Haley" she asks me.

"What am I thinking?" I practically yell at her before telling her that I think these people need to show some respect.

I tell her that Brooke is dead and no amount of partying and fake smiles is going to change that.

I ignore her hurt expression and race towards the door. I can't take this mockery of a good time any longer.

I rush out into the night.

The blessed night cold and dark just like I feel.

And I take what feels like the first breath I have taken all night.

"Hales" A voice calls from behind me "Come back in"

"No Nathan! Just leave me alone!"

But he doesn't, he never does. He's always looking out for me these days and I'm learning to despise him for it.

I hate that he's here, trying to fill the void in my soul that Brooke left.

He'll never be able to. No one will.

"Nobody understands" I state "None of you can possibly understand what it feels like to have the love of your life ripped from you!"

"I understand Hales" he tells me "I understand more then you think"

I'm not stupid, I know he means me. How Brooke took me away from him. But it's not the same.

I'm still alive.

I still walk and talk and breathe.

Brooke doesn't. She never will again.

Does Nathan think that now that Brooke is gone I'll come running back to him? – I won't.

Do Peyton and my other friends really believe that this party will make things okay, that it will bring people together? – It won't.

The people laughing, talking and dancing together tonight will go back to avoiding each other tomorrow.

That's just the way it is and I won't pretend otherwise.

Even if that is what my friends expect from me, to put on a brave face and do just that.

I won't pretend.

Because nothing matters anymore.

She's gone.

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**Reviews would be golden!!**


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